Enough with the pavlova analogies. The first half offered BNU with a multitude of opportunities…shots on goal were coming thick and fast, the only problem being none of them were going in the back of the net. As we moaned and groaned (much like a mud-wrestler may…) our way through miss after miss it could be fair to say that a little desperation and frustration crept into our game. However with the vast majority of the game being played in the opposition half it really was just a matter of time before one of our strikers sorted their shit out and scored. And who better than a player who has been on something of a resurgence of late, Nic ‘I-can turn-on-a-twenty-cent-piece-while-standing-in-a-pile-of-pavlova’ Sperring. With the score at 1-0 we knew there was still much work to be done. Although on the back foot, Lower Hutt had managed to create a couple of useful opportunities, largely due to their one decent player who although possibly being 40+ was making the defence look a little torotoisish.

Into the half time break then at 1-0 up, feeling super re-hydrated thanks to our tasty free mizones – the drink of champions, and John had his typical pearls of wisdom for us. Unfortunately I can’t quite remember what any of them were right now, but I do remember that Cat said something about a horse, and the orange mizone – the drink of champions, was more popular that the red mizone – the drink of champions. As an aside if the c.e.o of mizone does in fact read this report we will gladly accept your sponsorship…

Into the second half now and the winning of the league was dangling in front of us like carrot in front of a donkey, we just had to make sure we didn’t make asses of ourselves. As it happens there was a couple of incidents in the second half that involved people landing on their asses, however it must be said that the Lower Hutt player that looked like a tank and was as fair as an American in a tank was the biggest ass of all. After a couple of blatantly absurd fouls, Bronwyn ‘but-she’s-only-little’ Kelly stepped in a got everyone quite excited at the prospect of a last game rumble…however it wasn’t to be and instead the ref sent one player from each team off for five minutes, threatened to quit cause we were winding him up, and then Bronwyn said sorry and everything was ok again.

Before or after all of this Nic scored another goal, and absolute cracker, Anya was lucky enough to have the opportunity to play defence for a spell, and John forget to give Karen the call to go up to striker.

The final whistle was welcome. A deserved victory in the game, and also a deserved and well earned victory in the league. The mighty BNU women’s first team eagerly await next year’s opportunity to run amok in Division 1.

Another stunning match report brought to you by Karen ‘Twister Champion’ O’Leary.